Saturday, November 29, 2008
Burress Puts Bullet in Leg
You my be surprised to find out the title of this article does not act only as an attention getter but also as the truth. Late Friday night, Giants Wide Receiver Plaxico Burress "accidentally" shot himself in the leg. He shot himself in the same leg that was bothering him and keeping him out of this Sunday's game against the Redskins. This may raise a few questions. First off, why is Burress carrying a loaded gun? Well thats obvious, he probably had someone he wanted to kill. A small pistol in New York is rarely used for hunting. But seriously, who knows why he would have a loaded gun? You may also ask, what the heck is wrong with this guy? Probably the most obvious question is who shoots themself in the leg? How dumb can you possibly be?
Well the picture above is a picture of Plaxico Burress at a Knicks game. Maybe Burress had a few ideas from Stephon Marbury. Maybe Burress does not want to play football. So how can you say you do not want to play football without being fined or suspened? "Easy!" Burress thought. "I'll just shoot myself. Yeah, I'll show them." Well what a genius idea. This should end Burress' season. I mean he put a bullet in his leg.
I would think Marbury and Burress have to be best friends. Maybe they can setup a playdate. They both cause so many distractions and have so many similar habits. I would be wasting my time to list everything.
Of course there could be other theories to why a bullet ended up in Burress' leg. I think it would be fair to say Burress is "different." We have seen football players shoot others and we have seen others shoot football players. Well Burress did not want to be like that so he figured he would be the person taking AND receiving the shot. You never know. It could happen.
Really, the only thing I can say is wow. I cannot wait until Burress makes a statement. What can he possibly say to defend himself on this one? Will any cliches work? Well let us look at a few:
Life isn't fair, Money doesn't grow on Trees, Speak softly, but carry a big stick, in a nickel out a dime, God does not like ugly, An apple a day keeps the doctor away, Live and let live, Karma will come back and bite you in the butt, It's not what you know, it is who you know, It does not matter if you win or lose, but how you play the game, Death is terrible, Life is hard then you die, When you have a bunch of lemons, make Lemonade, Don't confuse love with lust, Worrying does not change anything, Think positively, Believe in yourself, It will get better, It is not who wins the battle but who wins the war, Good things come to those who wait, The devil at work today, God has a plan, Rainy days pass, Get a good night sleep, you will feel better in the morning, In for a dollar out for a pound, You are what you eat.
Well after looking over all of the following it comes down to a couple of choices. He will either say "Life isn't fair," Live and let live," Death is terrible," or the most likely choice "the devil at work today."
But all in all... again the only thing I can say is wow. Of course Burress has the right to bear arms but why does Burress really need to exercise that right?
Mark Elliot Wishnia
SportsTalkNY Blog Team